Coniston Coppermines. Day 2

[Mick]

Day Two. May 2nd

A surprising amount of non-faffing saw the Smeggies queueing outside Grizedale Visitor Centre BEFORE 10am eager to get in and buy orienteering maps.

A multi-activital day followed which saw us do a short orienteering course; a hard orienteering course (backwards); a picnic on a rug with fresh earl grey; a game of frisbee; a game of catch-ball (drop-ball for Steve and chuck-ball-hard-at-little-kid-making-him-cry for Geoff); a cup of tea and an ice cream; a scramble up a wet gorge (more later) AND time for a shower before tea. FAN-BLOOMING-TASTIC. (Even better, Ipswich lost to Birmingham thus leaving Bradford City in pole position to claim automatic promotion to the Premiership).

[Martin]

Following the morning orienteering session, those of us with a thirst for a few more miles purchased trail maps from the visitor centre and did a sculpture crawl around the western Grizedale forest. This of course, was after lunch!

[Mick]

Our evening meal was supplemented by un-nervingly accurate budgie impressions from Mr Free (ding) which made Eddie laugh his orange juice through his nostrils. Steve was so busy serving extra basil soup to the others that he ran out before he got to himself. Ian played with whipped cream and Micj managed 3 bowls of soup (including 1 of Steve's) a HUGE leek and apricot casserole AND apple crumble and custard and is now pregnant.

[Jane]

After dinner the pub called and we walked down the long dusty road to the Black Bull. Seating proved to be a bit of a problem and we resorted to 'one buttock forward and one buttock backward' on two benches. Martin and Ian complained bitterly about crushed nuts and then changed the topic of conversation to tongues with graphic demonstration.

[Mick]

Stop Press Weather Report

Skies are clearing which means COLD night so I am now on the whisky to a)keep me warm and b)reduce the need to wee naked outside like last night.

The question we are all asking now is How Pissed Is Sophie? Also, How Did Sophie Get So Pissed?

Ian has just asked her if she is all right and Steve replied she'd be better after a damn good scratching. This scribe feels there is no response to such a statement.

Coniston Coppermines. May Bank Holiday 1999

Official Register:

CURTIS Stephen
CUTLER Michael
FREE Martin
HOLDGATE Alison
KIMBER Jane
MORRISON Geoff
PARKER God
RUDGE Sophie
WILLSHIRE Ruth
WINTHORPE Edward





[Eddie]
Coniston Copper Quotes:


"I've only played with it; I've not had it in my mouth" Ruth
"I had Claire up a ladder" Martin
"I like it, it's great, you feel so vulnerable" Sophie
"If Steve stabs his sausage like that it is all going to squirt out from under the skin" Sophie
"You wouldn't get my nuts in there" Mick
"It's all gone inside, it's dribbling down now, my foot's all wet now" Sophie
"Ju, ju, ju, ju, ding!" (Martin's budgie impression)

[Martin]
THE TRANSPORT TRAUMA



The following was a logistical plan to exacting requirement...



Timings (Planned)
Depart Chippenham 1300
Journey time to Bedford - 3hrs
Arrive Bedford 1600hrs
Depart Bedford 1630hrs
Journey time to Bradford - 3hrs
Arrive Bradford 1930hrs
Depart Bradford 2000hrs
Journey time to Coniston 2.5hrs (including food stop - Settle)
Arrive Coniston 2230


Notes: Plan based around bank holiday Friday traffic rates.



Timings (Actual): Complete Bollocks
[Eddie] Anyone seen Martin's teddy?!? It was a nice plan - we just didn't want to use it!





[Steve]
The Walk & Other Things. May 1st



The weekend was billed as a "fluffy" weekend - Mick's term, but I like it!!!

So, this morning, we arose suddenly as God Parker plummeted from his sleeping repose to the solid wooden floor in one swift action. The thud caused major structural damage to the hostel, and woke me up!!

Having stolen the assistant warden's bed for the night, I was slightly concerned that my breakfast might not be up to the high standard that is usually offered at the YHA. Still, on reflection, I shouldn't have felt so guilty, because I'm a paying guest and he's not. And besides I might have let him share if he'd asked nicely.

So, following a suitably satisfying breakfast decisions were to be made as to the purpose of the day. After lengthy discussions it was decided to drive to Ambleside in the morning so that Ruth and Martin could buy loads of kit. Being my usual extravagant self, I bought a newspaper.

So after a morning's hectic shopping, we drove back to the hostel, and then set off to climb the Old Man. But Martin wouldn't stand still; so we headed for the mountain instead.

Being now a fully restored Southern Poofy Wuss, I was most impressed that I still made it to the top without dying. In fact it was a damn good walk, with excellent weather, and was most enjoyable. I even managed to talk about substations to God Parker, who seemed vaguely interested, which was nice (but I suppose it made a change from mobile phones!!)

An excellent day and one to make me wonder what thebloody hell I'm doing in the dirty, nasty metropolis that is London. I wonder why the bloody hell I don't try and get a job in the countryside. I suppose it's just because I'll always be a Southern Poofy Wuss. Never mind; at least my heart's in the right place.

[Jane]
Ruth and I decided to have an easy day and bailed out fairly early on the climb. Our first sunbathing spot proved to be a bad choice due to it's position on top of an ants nest. The second was a much better sheltered spot by a wall.

The echoes in the valley proved to be very interesting - we could hear the conversations of people half way up the hill! Pied wagtails provided a side show of tap dancing up and down the slag heaps. We spent the afternoon sunbathing, doing Steve's crosswords and squashing small but annoying flies as we turned the pages of our books. Ruth decided to be very conscientious and work on her C.V. but that lasted approximately 15 seconds!

We had no contact with the rest of the group until we saw a yellow helicopter lifting someone off the hill. We decided to call them to check they were ok. They were and waved at us from the top of the hill. At about 6.00 pm the sunburn started to show on almost all members of the now reunited group.

Dinner was spent in the third person.

[Mick]
MICK AND ALISON'S DAY

Was rather different as it started in York, then travelled to Bradford arriving at around 11am.

A quick visit to Millets for old times sake resulted in the aquisition of a new pair of boots and socks for Ali. This was followed by pints of beer at the Firkin before 1 1/2 disappointing hours on the Kop at Valley Parade watching Bradford City AFC fail to score against the 2nd bottom team in the league and thus hamper their chances of being promoted to the Premier League next season. No one else here cares, but I do so I'm writing it down.
We arrived in Coniston at 8.30ish to find a tent pitched down by the river; a welcoming party ushered us down to the tent, we filled it with duvets and then away to the pub. Oh, we popped in at the hostel to find a 6th form field trip in situ. Bugger - can't get away from bloody kids no matter how hard you try.

Ewen's Housewarming Party. Jan 30th 1999

[Steve]
Oh yes. The Smeggies invaded the Midlands.

This was billed as Ewen's House-warming, but with all of us present (except Geoff!!) it quickly turned into Ewen's House-wrecking.

Lots of people were present: Tony, Rich & Jo, Andy K, Martin, Ruth, Eddie & Jane.

Stars of the party had to include Ruth who after consuming copious amounts of whisky subsequently tested the quality of Ewen's carpet by projectile vomiting from the stairs.

At this moment, standing in the kitchen, questions being posed are:

"Is she still wretching??"
"How much did she have?"
"What was she drinking?"

and other such probing questions that always follow a natural disaster.

In the meantime, I have managed to remove the coatstand from the wall, dropping everybody's coat in the dog-bowl and giving Liam's phone an early bath.

Oh well; a good time was had by all.

[Mick]
ROLL CALL
CHAPMAN - Rich
CURTIS - Steve
CUTLER - Mick
FREE - Martin (puke cleaner)
KENNERLEY - Andy
KIMBER - Jane
LINTER - Tony (2 parties in 2 nights - whoo)
PARKER - God
PHILLIPS - Ewen
SIZELAND - Jo
WETHERALL - Vicki
WILLSHIRE - Ruth (not present - toilet monitor)
WINTHORPE - Eddie

Ewen's house is very nice - or rather was before Ruth was sick in the sink and then all down the stairs, and Steve pulled the coat hooks off the wall. Everyone is very grown up now and have proper jobs and houses. The lounge is now free apparently so that's all from me. Ta ta.

THE MORNING AFTER

Sardine like we woke early and considered last night's events. Steve and Mick's pillow talk centred around Ruth and we decided that her many hours of barfing would be a Smeggie talking point for many years to come. As I wasn't present at the actual scene of the crime, I'll hand over to Martin for some details of Ruth's Amazing Redecorating Service:

[Martin]
Chunder #1:
Location - Kitchen
Target - Sink
Description - After a brief period of swaying, Ruth christened the sink in the kitchen.
Clean Up - Running water plus poking bits with finger.

Chunder #2:
Location - Stairs / Downstairs Hall
Target - Stairs
Description - Upon removal from the kitchen, Ruth sat on the stairs to contemplate her earlier faux-pas, and promptly decided to test the stain resistance of the carpet.
Clean Up - Martin, with six teatowels and the washing up bowl. Larger lums removed from carpet using fingers.

Chunder #3:
Location - Downstairs Loo
Target - Toilet
Description - More retching, but this time in a more appropriate place.
Clean Up - Chin wiping and hair holding courtesy of Jane.

Chunder #4:
Location - Downstairs Loo
Target - Carpet / Legs
Description - Using the toilet in a more conventional manner, Ruth required to evacuate from both ends at once.
Clean Up - Dog bowl (scene of earlier phone / coat dunking episode), suitable emptied, inserted between mouth and legs. Mopping up undertaken with kitchen cloth on legs / carpet.

Intermediary Retching:
Location - Downstairs Loo
Target - Generally the dog bowl but some problems with aim. Collateral damage to skirt / tights / carpet.
Description - General illness over a period of time conducted from seated position, with pants / tights round knees.
Clean Up - Mouth wiping / nose wiping / spill mopping provided by Martin (who drew the line at wiping Ruth's arse!)

Final Instalment:
Ruth, re-panted, wiped and suitably encased in warm clothing removed from downstairs loo and put into sleeping bag in kitchen.

(0912 hrs Sunday: Ewen finds Mick's missing sock...)

Capel Curig - November 20-22 1998

[Mick]

This is a UBU Hiking trip, but owing to the lack of Smeggie activity we're hijacking it for appearance purposes.

SMEGGIE TURNOUT:
Mick
Martin
God
Dean
Dave
Tom
Gwyn

We're staying at an educational centre, which makes me feel right at home, in Capel Curig. Had chips bought for us in Quensferry - hurrah!

NOTE: - Ewen's housewarming is last Saturday in January apparantly. Will he be there we wonder......

SATURDAY - THE SOGGY SMEGGIE STROLL
Up the Devil's Kitchen, wiggle across the top heading for beer in Capel Curig.

WHAT HAPPENED
13 of us set off in windy rain with an air of anticipation heightened by a photograph of the views we would have seen had it not been so cloudy. The scramble up the devil's kitchen was excellent, although the strength of the wind at the bottom had some wondering what it would be like at the top (it was nothing like the strength of the wind at God's bottom however). As we ascended it got colder and windier, and steeper, until the moment of truth arrived and the decision was made by the majority to turn back.
HOWEVER...... I was in a particularly obstinate mood and wanted to try my chances on the ridges of Glyder Fach and Glyder Fawr, so with Dave Berry, Neil, Annette and Connie we continued upwards.

[Martin]
THE SOFTIES DESCENT....

After freezing our nuts off while the new routes were planned, we dropped back down the route as fast as possible. Stopping briefly for lunch in a sheltered spot we arrived back at the bus by 1400 and then back to the hostel for a change of pants. Suitably warmed we drove to Betws for coffee and cakes in the Royal Oak, before returning to the hostel. After dropping the party off, Martin and Phillip drove along the road towards the returning party, picking them up about 1 mile from the hostel.

[Mick]
THE HARDIES ASCENT
Luckily we were nearly at the top so we followed 3 people who seemed to know where they were going before losing them in the mist when they moved over 5 metres in front of us.
Navigation was generally by way of heading NE until we nearly fell off the cliff (helped by the southerly gale) and then heading due east along the ridge. It was impossible to navigate using paths as we kept losing them in the zero visability. From Glyder Fach onwards we navigated solely on an easterly bearing due firstly to the soggy nature of the map and secondly by not having the double sided map we thought we had and thus having no map to follow at all...

After huge amounts of squelching, a tricky negotiation of barbed wire fence and a descent (still in zero visability) of a very steep, wet, grassy slope we finally saw headlights and we knew we had nearly made it. A final trudge along a track into Capel Curig presaged the arrival of Martin the Minibus Driver and the (dark) end of a great day's achievement.

EVENING ACTIVITIES
Mr Chairman, Mr Weights and Measures, Thumbmaster and Chief Snitch started an evening of much imbibing and punting (not pointing) at the local hostelry. Some people got very drunk - Phil (M.U.T. Morale Uplift Target) left early thus thwarting somewhat our attempts to frame him. The party continued back at the hostel with Dean's Amazing Toxic Punch (Martini, Vodka, Southern Comfort, Bacardi, Strawberryade and chopped fruit). Much singing of Beach Boys and Elvis songs, coupled with a conga upstairs to spy on Matt and Heather followed - as did a photo session of the bare bottom variety courtesy of Martin and a stolen camera. The evening ended at around 2.30am with a visit of the beer monkey to the boy's dormitory.

Comedy moment of the day: Mick's shower dripping through the celing of the girl's dormitory.

SUNDAY
Not much for me to write here as I did bugger all of the walking-type activity. Dean seemed worst afflicted by the hangover-curse whilst Mick, Martin and Ian (God) partook of breakfast avec sunglasses. Most went walking in incessant rain while others stayed behind to clear up - and in my case get a bit of coursework done. Afternoon in Betws, a few new gadgets bought by some, back in Bradford at 7.00 in time for a curry at the Daarbar (formerly the Shabina) who give the Hiking Club free Lassi every Sunday. Fantastic.

Annual Meal - May 16 1998

This annual Hiking Club event was held at the Cedar Court Hotel, Bradford. The Smeggies booked a table and Martin, Geoff, Steve, Mick, Gwyn, Helen and Rich Gav all turned out - as well as Louise and Vicki Wetherall. Tony and Dean were also present but are listed in the book as "Not on our table: Tony (committee traitor) The hardest man in England. Dean (on the brummy table)"

[Mick]
Ewen is in America which we all agree is quite a good excuse by his standards (which are high - on the excuse front)

Quote: Helen Robertson 2Hello Geoff, I haven't seen you for ages, how are you? I've been around a bit."

The Evening In Abbreviated Format:
Martin got an award for speeding in Skye. Mick and Jo gatecrashed a wedding and met a very nice student called Nicola from Newcastle Uni. Geoff, Rich, Mick and Dean obtained some smashing new cummerbunds courtesy of the curtain tie-backs. Party continued at Phil and Jo's house after midnight where we drank lots of Boddingtons then got chucked out by Phil for being too noisy. Martin disappeared into the wild blue yonder with Heather (next year's Pres. apparantly) and the rest of us went to the Shabs with our beer and a box of wine at about 3am.

We have decided unanimously that the next Smeggie party will be at Ewen's house. That way he has to come. (We will be informing him of this as soon as we find out where the blooming hell he is living now)

Coast To Coast Day 10 - The Final Leg

[Tony]

Day 10 - Grosmont - Robin Hood's Bay

At last, the final stretch. The day opened with a climb out of Grosmont and a first view of Whitby and te North Sea. We split the day into sections with Eddie, Martin and Jane all walking for some of the day. As Eddie's car was following us on our journey I was relieved of my rucksack, much to the surprise of fellow coast to coasters who had previously seen me fully laden and alone.

The last ten days had seen coast, the mountains of Lakeland, limestone pavements, the peaty moorland of Nine Standards, the sheep and stiles of Swaledale, the flat plain and long slog across the Vale of York, and the escarpment of the North York Moors, not to mention much more besides.
Now, after 190 miles it was back to coast walking again for the last few miles back to Robin Hood's Bay.

Once we arrived we headed straight through the main street to the sea. Fortunately the tide was in, which saved a few extra paces. I threw my pebble I had been carrying since St Bees (my bit to stop erosion of this part of the coastline). As I posed at the water's edge for a victorious photograph I managed to get very wet feet as the inevitable tidal wave washed above my gaiterless boot line. I screamed, much to the amusement of nearby pubgoers.

Coast To Coast Day 9 - The Penultimate Leg...

[Tony]

Day 9 Lion Inn - Grosmont

Otherwise known as a walk in the park. Relieved of my rucksack, courtesy of Eddie, Jane and Eddie's car, I entered Heartbeat country. Just as I was imagining Nick Berry was about to turn up on a quiet moorland road, a bloke on a scooter duly did!
After Earl Grey Tea and sandwiches at Glaisdale Station tea-shop, at the obligatory photo-on-a-bridge, Beggars Bridge to be precise, myself and Eddie strolled through woods to meet Jane and Primera at pre-arranged spot in Egton Bridge.
We passed another group of walkers, doing the coast to coast, met previously at Osmotherley and Lion Inn, who had seen me fully laden and were surprised to find me packless. I had just lost my hard-man image! After 30 minutes we arrived at the pre-arranged meeting point with no sign of Jane or Primera, A thorough search of all roads and car parks within a mile radius was conducted before Jane was found.

Arrival in Grosmont was the earliest of any day so far, 3.15, so, bags deposited at B&B I sat by the train station and looked round engine sheds saying 'There's one', 'there's another one' all afternoon... (the pub didn't open until 7pm!)

[Eddie]
We left the Lion Inn just before 10 this morning. Jane and I drove off to Whitby, leaving Tony (without bag) to wander across the moors. At our rendezvous at Glaisdale Post Office, we discovered it to have closed moments earlier at 12.30. Fortunately the tea shop was suitably stocked.
I shared Tony's walk to Egton Bridge where Jane was reminded about 'looking for the specified feature'.
After an overcast morning it has turned into another hot, sunny, hazy afternoon.

NEWSFLASH
Tony's prnciples have been compromised. Due to a lack of evening meal situation in Grosmont, Tony has been forced to accept a lift BACK to Egton Bridge in order to purchase dinner!
Reports have been circulating speculating that during this exercise, Tony did in fact see the sea. This has been vigourously denied by Tony (25), who added " it was too hazy to see anything - anyway, I can't see the sea until tomorrow!"

[Martin]
The Station Pub, Grosmont, 2100 hrs

Martin returns to the disasterous C2C trip metting Tony (Norman Yardstick - the standard by which we should all be compared), Ed, and Jane in the pub to lubricate joints before tomorrow's final day.

Coast To Coast Day 8 - and then there was one

[Tony]

Day 8 Osmotherley - Lion Inn

This morning Mick was driven back to Bradford by Martin having been completely all walked out. I had two options, wuss out when I was on a roll, or battle on alone. Despite the fact that the latter option felt highly anti-social I decided that I would feel I was letting myself down if I gave up getting to Robin Hood's Bay at such a late stage.
The day was quite a tough one especially walking alone. There were plenty of ups and downs, and the amount of climbing to do was by far the most since the Lake District. After Clay Bank Top it was a 10 mile plod along the railway track to the Lion Inn, a pub on top of a hill in the middle of nowhere...

I had drifted off to sleep having settled down to watch TV having eaten tea, when I heard a knowck on the door. Eddie and Jane had arrived, all the way from Cambridge!! This all came as a bit of a shock, I now had backup again! The easy stages that remained would now be even easier.

[Eddie]
How many times has the plan changed in the last 48 hours!?! The Lion was supposed to have seen the 4 of us walkers in nice surroundings and with a fine selection of ales... alas it was not to be. Incidently, my knee is a lot better, but still not right!

Coast To Coast Day 7 - only two remain

[Tony]

Day 7 Richmond - Osmotherley. 40km (221km total)

Yesterday Martin got a lift with Ruth back to Bradford, never to be seen again. Eddie had persuaded Jane to replace Martin at the Lion Inn and Grosmont on Friday and Saturday. A romantic weekend for four! Eddie offered to provide support for me and Mick on this 26 mile slog. The plan was for him to meet us at key points in his car while carrying our rucksacks. Every three miles or so at some road junction Eddie would be there to water us and let us tuck into our choccie bars.

By lunchtime at Danby Wiske we decided it was time to relieve Eddie of his services, so he could head down to Cambridge.

The going was very tedious as it was mainly road and track walking and the pace which was exceeding three miles an hour slowed considerably as the afternoon wore on. Mick was obviously hobbling along and it was only a matter of time before he announced he was heading home in the morning. By the time we got to Ingleby Cross the going was literally painfully slow.
It felt like the Coast To Coast adventure was coming to an end, unless I would, or could, battle on as a lone adventurer.

[Mick]
Yes, too many Sundays spent recovering from hangovers, watching football or playing on Geoff's Nintendo 64 instead of tramping up hill and down dale has left me not very fit. I haven't previously experienced not actually being able to put one foot in front of the other before, but at Ingleby Cross, heading up the hill to Osmotherley, it got a bit pathetic. There was no option but to bail out. As Tony has just remarked 'like all good cricketers, you get to 200 not out and then declare'. After 202, almost consecutive, kilometres, I've declared.

Coast To Coast Day 6 - the (terminal) breaking of the fellowship

[Mick]
Day 6 Keld - Richmond. 35km (181km total)
After about an hour of walking we realised that Eddie & Martin's walk was over. Martin's toes had got no better and Eddie's knee looked bad.

A plan was formed for Tony and I to carry on as planned while Eddie & Martin would find their way back to Bradford to pick up a car, then come back to drive 'support' for us.

So, Tony & I set off at mega-yomp pace to make Reeth for lunch - which we did at 1.30ish - 12 miles on from Keld.

Reeth is a beautiful, picturesque place with a large central green bounded by B&Bs, tea shops and pubs. Perfect. Definate place for a stop nest time.....

PM was 12 miles again, so we aimed for 7pm arrival in Richmond and set off, earmarking 2 stopping points en-route. We made very good time through showers and wind and a bit of sun as well. Eventually a rainbow appeared over our destination and we headed towards it gratefully through fields of new-born lambs.

Keld - Reeth was along the Swale (not as recommended by A.W.) but Reeth - Richmond was over the hills through countless farms & fields. Both 'legs' were absolute typical picture postcard Yorkshire - a lovely walk in all.

[Tony]
We arrived in Richmond ahead of time at 6.15. It took a little time to find our B&B but when we did we felt that we had found somewhere a bit too posh for us, our smelly clothes and our kit explosions. It was a grade 2 listed Georgian building with furnishings to match. The double bedroom was complete with a book of love poems on one bedtable and a book of insults on the other...

[Eddie]
Martin & I left the Swale at the first road we crossed, considering stiles and gates too difficult and expecting to make better progress on the tarmac.

We decided to hitch-hike and were picked up by about the 10th car to pass (note this took about 45 minutes as it's a very quiet road!) We now recommend this technique: Both hitch, both turn to the traffic & both smile!

Martin & I were picked up by 'the man from the Pru' who took us all the way to Richmond (we waved at Reeth) in time for a late lunch. The afternoon was spent formulating a cunning plan whilst sitting with an ice cream in the river.

Cunning Plan = Ruth rescues Martin & Eddie and returns with them to Bradford.

Coast To Coast Day 5 - the (temporary) breaking of the fellowship

[Mick]
Day 5 - Orton - Kirkby Stephen 21km (127km total) Martin & Mick; Orton - Keld 40km (146km total) Eddie & Tony

Well, it's happened. 2 of us have failed the Coast to Coast unaided.
11 miles before lunch took it out of me, and Martin's feet were very sore, so we got a taxi to Keld, thus missing out on another 11 miles.
I feel disappointed, but there was no way I could do two 22+ mile days back to back and then do over 50 miles during the next 2 days. Hopefully the rest this afternoon will be enough to psyche me up for the next 2 yomps. I'm sat in front of an open fire, washed and dry, looking forward to dinner and I feel so much better than I did last night. HURRAH!

[Eddie]
I am very very tired. Perhaps I should have joined M&M in the taxi! The climb out of Kirkby Stephen was most unwelcome. The 9 standards was a complete whiteout with a terrific wind. The route down was boggy, but way-marked. The weather has certainly caught up with us today. I even wore my legs! M&M felt so sorry (or guilty?) for Tony and myself that they even made our neds... niiice.

Coast To Coast Day 4 - the (first) long day

[Martin]
Day 4 Patterdale - Orton (37km - 106km total)

The day started with a hard pull out of Patterdale towards Angle Tarn. Overtaking the two older C2Cers on the way up, they caught us up as we had a short break by the tarn. We left them there and headed up to Kidsty Pike where we caught the first rain of the trip. We 'Gore-d up', continued and managed to leave the weather behind as we dropped to Haweswater. The 'flat' walk round the lake was actually quite rough underfoot as we got going after lunch at the head. We yomped round, passing the dam and left the lakeland fells behind as we headed out into limestone country.

Shap was shut, so we carried on through stopping on the M6 footbridge for 'Third Of The Way' photographs.

The trog from Shap to Orton proved longer and harder than we thought, and we arrived in Orton at 1910 with sore feet and tired legs. A quick change of clothes and a chemical bath later, we departed for the final, but most necessary km of the day to the pub for tea.

[Eddie]
Orton B&B - The Old Barn
A most welcome sight about 1km short of Orton itself. Martin and I shared a kingsize double whilst Mick and Tony shared a much less intimate twin room.
Whilst I had previously conducted a survey of Martin's ex's, I was still surprised to find that he is a duvet hog! Consequently, I did not sleep too well :-(

Coast To Coast Day 3 - the wussy day

[Tony]
Grasmere - Patterdale 12km (69km total)
Yes, today was designated the wussy day - even though it was intended to be the biggest climb of the walk, up to St.Sundays Crag.

The day started with a very satisfactory lie-in, getting up at around 9am. We decided that we were going for 'The Whole Hog'. Not only were we confident that we would make the whole journey, bet we decided that we would treat ourselves to breakfast at 'The Piggy In The Middle' restaurant - and it certainly was the whole hog. Bacon, sausage, steak - not to mention egg, beans and chips. Plus veggie alternatives for Mick.

[Mick]
Yes, we started our walk at 11.30am with no intention of eating lunch due to the size (and lateness) of the breakfast. The weather was sunny with a cold wind - prime sunburn weather - as we headed up towards Grizedale Tarn, 'summitting' around 1.30pm.

[Martin]
A nice sit in the sun for a Mars Bar and a swig of water was had, then we set off up St Sunday's Crag. Good views were to be had in all directions, hence Ed stopping every 2 minutes and requesting someone to retrieve his camera from his rucksack!
The summit of St Sunday's provided another suitable sunbathing spot before dropping down into Patterdale.
We stopped by at the Post Office for provisions for tomorrow (and an ice cream) before going to the pub. One pint later we staggered off to find the YHA...

After dinner at the hostel (Cumberland Sausage for the 3rd time in 3 meals!) Martin retired to the dorm. Thinking himself alone, apart from Ed who doesn't count, he decided to "let one rip". And rip it did - right into the face of the bloke asleep on Martin's bottom bunk... Well, at least it didn't smel...

[Mick]
As we sit here in the pub we are realising that our patchy red and white bodies are due to uneven spread of suncream. Amazingly, if you dab suncream on one part of your arm / knee / face, it stays white, whilst all around goes PINK!! As Martin observed - "We're not very good at suncream are we"..... honestly, blokes.

QUOTES: "Who's going to join me in the shower?" Mick
NEUGH POINTS: "They've crosswired the speakers and cancelled the vocals" Ed. "Oh really" we replied...

Coast To Coast Day 2 - spirits still high!

[Mick]
Day 2. Ennerdale - Grasmere. 26km (total 57km)
The day dawned bright and early. We dawned achey and not-so-early. All felt more than capable however of the trials and tribulations, the highs and lows, the food and beer that lay ahead of us.
Black Sail, we were reminded after 90 mintes, is a long way away. Martin and Eddie hot-footed it in trainers while Tony and I stomped along in boots.

[Eddie]
The climb up to Seavy Knott was hard in the sun, but it was nice to know that we weren't going over Red Pike. We began to discuss how much later than us the three chaps going that way would be upon arrival at Grasmere.
The long descent along the tramway and then the old road might be seen as disheartening as ahead, behind Glaramara, was the path up to Greenup Edge. Lunch was taken in Rosthwaite as the cafe in Seatoller was found to be expensive. Lunch in Rosthwaite was also expensive. But this was because we all ate lots!

[Martin]
We left Rosthwaite towards the Langstrath and began our ascent of Greenup Edge. This was hard...
At the top we logged our phones in and called ahead to secure dinner at Grasmere YHA. Descending via the Easedale Valley, we reached Grasmere Thorney Howe at 1820 hrs, feeling thankful that we hadn't come down the ridge. We did manage to see lots of Bog Asphodel though... (see AW [Alfred Wainwirght's Coast To Coast Book] for clarification)

[Mick]
Unfortunately, only one shower for ALL the men (are they trying to say we don't wash, or that we smell sweet enough anyway) meant that Tony and I had to wait until after dinner to clean our sweaty bodies. Never mind, Martin provided the entertainment by pouring coffee into the tea pot while I tucked into my cheese & lentil bake.
After supper (& showers) we trooped down to Tweedies Bar for a pint of Jennings / Old Peculiar before heading back to Martin's bedtime stories from the Langdale Mountain Rescue book.
Tomorrow: Wussy Day. Hurrah.

Stupid Points: Martin deciding to top up the half empty teapot by using the coffee pot...

Quotes: "My only soiled clothes are my pants" Mick
"I think I need some vaseline for my bottom" Ed

The Coast to Coast Debacle

On April 30 1998 the Smeggie Book had it's first entry. As this is a blog version of the book, I feel it is important to quote from it as often as possible. So here we go...

[Mick]
April 30, 1998 - Bradford
Welcome to the Smeggie Book - a chronicle of all things Smeggie.
We start on the Smeggie Coast to Coast walk. 190 miles, 10 days, 4 Smeggies, 1 objective - to arrive at Robin Hood's Bay on May 10 1998 having walked from St Bees Head in Cumbria.
The Smeggies in question are: Mick, Martin, Tony, Eddie.
Apart from Eddie, the only real training we've done was an attempt at the 3 peaks last Sunday. We wussed out of Whernside and Martin and I both strained a knee (each, not between us). My first aid kit now contains a tubigrip AND knee support, but, alas, I have a feeling it will take more than that to see us safe across country.

[Tony]
On Thursday night we journeyed speedily to our start point, St Bees, and when I say speedily I mean we entrusted our lives to Phil's hands, who was intent on showing us what an impressive driver he is. Unfortunately, he managed to achieve the opposite effect as three on the back seat were thrown from one side of the car to the other.
We were glad to get to St Bees in one piece having had several close experiences with various verges, oncoming cars and the back end of slow moving caravans...

[Tony]
Day One - St Bees - Ennerdale. 31km.
The day started with photo opportunities at the sign for the start of the walk (not to mention the nearby adventure play equipment). As the tide was out the obligatory walk to get our boots wet added an extra 1/2 mile to our intrepid journey. A chilly breeze blew from the sea as we followed the coast in completely the wrong direction - north west, when our goal, Robin Hood's Bay, was to the east.
As we turned inland and finally in the right direction we were disappointed by the view of St Bees just two miles away, when we had already walked about seven.

The plan was to lunch at Moor Row, however the solitary shop was bare of any useful products, about three drinks in the chill cabinet, and absolutely no sandwhiches, pies, or anything decent to eat for lunch.
We ended up lunch-stopping at Cleator instead, where we had a choice of two shops. One said 'no pies' on a big sign, and the other had 'no sandwiches'. Finding a decent lunch was not as easy as we had first thought.

Navigation was tricky around the far side of Dent Fell and we further ran into trouble as we headed into Ennerdale Bridge. We had to tread discretely as we wandered into some farmer's back yard.

The going in the last few miles was tough, but we clocked up the 31km in a respectable 9 hours.

We had decided to do this trip in less time than Wainwright suggested (a fact that would bite all but one of us hard later in the trip) and the first night's stop was up the Ennerdale valley at Ennerdale YHA. As I commented in The Book: Made Ennerdale Bridge at approx 3.30 but final push up the valley was V. slow as legs shagged. Made hostel at 6pm. This was a sign of things to come...

Ennerdale YHA is a lovely remote place that runs on gas and log power... We ran into our first fellow coast-to-coasters here, but due to our optimistic route planning, rarely saw the same people twice. No-one else had the same itinery as we did...

What this is all about...

Hello and welcome!
Many years ago, in 1993, I joined the Hiking Club at Bradford University, West Yorkshire, England. The following three years saw many trips on a Sunday out into the Dales or the Peak District, weekend trips to the Lakes or Snowdonia, and week long trips to Ireland and Scotland. The friendships forged in the furnace of lumpy hostel beds (!), real-ale-serving pubs, snowy, windy and usually wet summits and the Shabina curry house back in Bradford were to last for many years - and still last to this day.

During my final year at Uni I shared a house with Steve, Ewen and Geoff. Due to our initials the house became referred to as the Smeg House, and when we decided we needed to make sure we kept together after graduation we decided to call ourselves The Smeggies. In 1998 I bought a hardbacked A4 book from WHSmith and this was to become The Smeggie Book, a chronicle of all things Smeggie.

10 years later, and after many adventures, some of us were talking in a rain and wind swept bunkbarn at Ribblehead (in August...) and decided that as parts of the book made us double over when re-reading it, maybe an attempt could be made to blog it.

Will it translate to those who do not know us? Will a reading of the blog bring familiar memories back to those who have experienced similar things? Will the tale of Ruth's Amazing Redecorating Service at Ewen's housearming party following a little too much beer prove to be as funny to those who weren't there as it was to those who were (except Ewen)? I don't know! But here we go anyway...

I would love this blog to be interactive and welcome all comments as often as possible. I will update as often as possible and hope to be up-to-date in as short a time as possible.

See you in the hills, and the pubs...