Coniston Coppermines. May Bank Holiday 1999

Official Register:

CURTIS Stephen
CUTLER Michael
FREE Martin
HOLDGATE Alison
KIMBER Jane
MORRISON Geoff
PARKER God
RUDGE Sophie
WILLSHIRE Ruth
WINTHORPE Edward





[Eddie]
Coniston Copper Quotes:


"I've only played with it; I've not had it in my mouth" Ruth
"I had Claire up a ladder" Martin
"I like it, it's great, you feel so vulnerable" Sophie
"If Steve stabs his sausage like that it is all going to squirt out from under the skin" Sophie
"You wouldn't get my nuts in there" Mick
"It's all gone inside, it's dribbling down now, my foot's all wet now" Sophie
"Ju, ju, ju, ju, ding!" (Martin's budgie impression)

[Martin]
THE TRANSPORT TRAUMA



The following was a logistical plan to exacting requirement...



Timings (Planned)
Depart Chippenham 1300
Journey time to Bedford - 3hrs
Arrive Bedford 1600hrs
Depart Bedford 1630hrs
Journey time to Bradford - 3hrs
Arrive Bradford 1930hrs
Depart Bradford 2000hrs
Journey time to Coniston 2.5hrs (including food stop - Settle)
Arrive Coniston 2230


Notes: Plan based around bank holiday Friday traffic rates.



Timings (Actual): Complete Bollocks
[Eddie] Anyone seen Martin's teddy?!? It was a nice plan - we just didn't want to use it!





[Steve]
The Walk & Other Things. May 1st



The weekend was billed as a "fluffy" weekend - Mick's term, but I like it!!!

So, this morning, we arose suddenly as God Parker plummeted from his sleeping repose to the solid wooden floor in one swift action. The thud caused major structural damage to the hostel, and woke me up!!

Having stolen the assistant warden's bed for the night, I was slightly concerned that my breakfast might not be up to the high standard that is usually offered at the YHA. Still, on reflection, I shouldn't have felt so guilty, because I'm a paying guest and he's not. And besides I might have let him share if he'd asked nicely.

So, following a suitably satisfying breakfast decisions were to be made as to the purpose of the day. After lengthy discussions it was decided to drive to Ambleside in the morning so that Ruth and Martin could buy loads of kit. Being my usual extravagant self, I bought a newspaper.

So after a morning's hectic shopping, we drove back to the hostel, and then set off to climb the Old Man. But Martin wouldn't stand still; so we headed for the mountain instead.

Being now a fully restored Southern Poofy Wuss, I was most impressed that I still made it to the top without dying. In fact it was a damn good walk, with excellent weather, and was most enjoyable. I even managed to talk about substations to God Parker, who seemed vaguely interested, which was nice (but I suppose it made a change from mobile phones!!)

An excellent day and one to make me wonder what thebloody hell I'm doing in the dirty, nasty metropolis that is London. I wonder why the bloody hell I don't try and get a job in the countryside. I suppose it's just because I'll always be a Southern Poofy Wuss. Never mind; at least my heart's in the right place.

[Jane]
Ruth and I decided to have an easy day and bailed out fairly early on the climb. Our first sunbathing spot proved to be a bad choice due to it's position on top of an ants nest. The second was a much better sheltered spot by a wall.

The echoes in the valley proved to be very interesting - we could hear the conversations of people half way up the hill! Pied wagtails provided a side show of tap dancing up and down the slag heaps. We spent the afternoon sunbathing, doing Steve's crosswords and squashing small but annoying flies as we turned the pages of our books. Ruth decided to be very conscientious and work on her C.V. but that lasted approximately 15 seconds!

We had no contact with the rest of the group until we saw a yellow helicopter lifting someone off the hill. We decided to call them to check they were ok. They were and waved at us from the top of the hill. At about 6.00 pm the sunburn started to show on almost all members of the now reunited group.

Dinner was spent in the third person.

[Mick]
MICK AND ALISON'S DAY

Was rather different as it started in York, then travelled to Bradford arriving at around 11am.

A quick visit to Millets for old times sake resulted in the aquisition of a new pair of boots and socks for Ali. This was followed by pints of beer at the Firkin before 1 1/2 disappointing hours on the Kop at Valley Parade watching Bradford City AFC fail to score against the 2nd bottom team in the league and thus hamper their chances of being promoted to the Premier League next season. No one else here cares, but I do so I'm writing it down.
We arrived in Coniston at 8.30ish to find a tent pitched down by the river; a welcoming party ushered us down to the tent, we filled it with duvets and then away to the pub. Oh, we popped in at the hostel to find a 6th form field trip in situ. Bugger - can't get away from bloody kids no matter how hard you try.